Time for Something New

Today I submitted my first job application to the University of New Mexico. I nearly cried once I had everything put together and submitted my application, resume, and cover letter. The job seems really fantastic and I'd be thrilled to be considered for it. When I was out visiting Jocelyn she showed me around UNM's campus and it's truly beautiful. It would be wonderful living in a brand new city with one great friend...it would give me the security blanket I'm going to be in dire need of in order to make this leap away from my hometown and on to the next stage of my life.

I made the decision a while back that I was going to leave Columbia after I graduate with my Master's next May. I'll be 25 and I feel like I've got to try and spread my wings and try my hand at living more than 10 minutes away from my Mom. I won't lie, I'm absolutely terrified. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to look for positions in St. Louis and Kansas City. I almost feel like that isn't enough...that I'd be taking the easy road once again and copping out. Having close friends and family in both places, it wouldn't really be like moving away. I need something bigger...but maybe with a little bit of a crutch.

The anxiety and anticipation of what is to come is overwhelming. I have no idea where I'm going to be or what I'm going to be doing. For some this could be seen as a great adventure. For me, it makes me want to throw up, tie myself down to a chair in my apartment, and refuse to ever leave for the rest of my life. At least part of me feels that way. The other part sees this move and transition into the next stage of my life as just that -- a transition. A transition into something new, different, that will help me grow as a person and provide me with professional experiences that I wouldn't have by staying put.